Having a lot in common with a woman is a good starting point for a lasting relationship, or at least makes a good starting point when trying to chat with her in the first place. By this fact, the nerdy guy has a lot more to offer to a lady with his interests than his non-nerdy competition. They might have about twenty pounds on you, but most women see these kinds of things in the long term. A nerdy lady is going to care way more about your compatible interests (such as the fact that you can geek out with her about Stargate) than a guy who’s got nothing in common with her.
Don’t Be a Cliché
Even if you’re banking on nerd appeal to attract her eye, you want to stick with the positive aspects. That is, intelligence, passion about your interests, and an ability to wholeheartedly appreciate things that the mainstream doesn’t. You don’t want to play up any of the negative stereotypes, like humorlessness, social awkwardness, or inability to take a shower. If you do happen to be guilty of any of those labels, you’ll want to try to break out of the mold. Being able to do so will also set you apart from your fellow nerd competition in the dating world, in addition to your nerd-ness setting you apart to begin with.
Break Out of the Mold
Breaking out of the mold can take a different approach for each given issue. If you’re humorless about your hobbies, lighten up a bit. No one wants to talk with someone who gets cagey and defensive when asked questions about their interests. If you’re the type of nerd that gets easily frustrated or snide to people who have uninformed newbie questions or misconceptions, definitely lighten up, that type of attitude grates on people, as you’ve probably seen in forum fights. Even if she keeps asking newbie questions about your interests, be patient and answer them. It means she’s trying to learn more about you, which is what you want. If you’re a bit socially awkward, believe us, we sympathize. Anyone who calls themselves a nerd can. The only remedy for social awkwardness is to be confident and observant. Be respectful of people’s personal space and boundaries, stand up straight and maintain eye contact when talking. Even if you’re insanely pumped to be able to chat about your hobby with someone who’s interested (let alone a lady who’s interested), ask her questions about her hobbies as well. Conversations are a two-way street.
If your big nerd stereotype is your personal hygiene issues, come on. Your stink is no one’s fault but your own, dude. Make a habit of showering daily, and thoroughly. Hygiene extends to your apartment, as well. Take that mountain of empty soda cans in for your sweet nickel a piece, and get your used dishes out of your room. If you’re well-groomed and have a clean place to take a lady back to, you’ve just put yourself ahead of ninety percent of the male population. The fact that you can geek out with her is just icing on the cake at this point.