Pro Tip: Continuing Contact
It can be difficult for guys starting out with online personals sites to figure out how to keep a lady interested without coming off as obnoxious. If it’s a week from now to the date you have that weekend, you might end up sweating bullets about how you’re going to keep her still liking you over the next few days…but there’s really no need for that.
It’s easier than you’d think.
It’s best just to relax, sit back, and stop thinking about how to get a date. You’ve gotten the date. It’s going to happen. Now, it’s just a matter of relaxing and being friendly and casual with her. She’s not going to expect much of anything until the two of you actually meet up, after all.
One of the biggest mistakes that we see men make is sending out multiple e-mails daily to these girls. When you’re attempting to formulate a personals dating strategy, this sort of plan needs to be lower on your list than anything else. This sort of thing will come off as harassment, and it’s going to really end up rubbing her the wrong way in general.
Obviously, if the two of you have really hit it off, this can change. If she’s really into you and likes to chat, then the two of you might end up exchanging e-mails several times a day, but this is rarely going to be the case.
For the most part, chat with her every other day.
If your date is on that Saturday, we suggest that you send out an e-mail that Tuesday, that Thursday, and then maybe that Saturday morning to confirm. This is going to make it very clear that you’re still interested in her and that you want to keep chatting with her, but that you understand she has a life, and frankly, that you have a life, too.
By coming on too h2, she’s just going to be annoyed. On some of the sites that we’ve done online personals reviews on, the act of sending out multiple e-mails daily actually has a limit on it, and for good reason: no one wants to be spammed by some random guy over the internet.
You don’t want her to think you’re annoying.
Just keep it natural. Don’t e-mail her unless you actually have something to say or something to ask. If you want to talk to her about the scenes you’re going to be acting out in the bedroom, for example, that’s a good reason to actually shoot her an e-mail.
If you want to talk to her about the weather or about how horrible your day at work was, however, we highly suggest that you change your mind and sit on your hands. The only reason to ever talk about the crappy parts of your life is if she brings it up on her own end, and then you two can chill out by exchanging horrible work stories or something similar to that.
These women want to go out with you, but they don’t want to be harassed. They want to be chased, but only within reason. This is something that will honestly vary between women, and it’s just something that you’re going to have to learn how to read overall.
Take note of a site’s culture.
Some sites will actually list ladies that are extremely interested and really ready go out on dates as soon as possible. This isn’t going to happen on every site, but it definitely applies to some of them. This will make it much easier for you to figure out which ladies you can be more aggressive with, however, and it’s something you should keep in mind.
Some sites, again, will also put a ban on too many e-mails in a day, That’s why it’s very important for you to keep an eye on how many e-mails you’re sending out, so be careful and really only send e-mails if you actually have something important to say to her.
Keep it casual.
Don’t ever talk to her about how you’ve had a bad breakup over the past couple of weeks. Again, most of these women just aren’t going to be interested in all of that drama. They’re on these sites to have fun, and the moment that you start acting like you aren’t going to be any fun is the moment that she’s going to turn on her heel and leave.
E-mailing and keeping contact should be a pretty simple thing overall, and it’s really sad that so many men overcomplicate it. It’s honestly all an issue of reading the woman that you’re talking to, and seeing how much she wants to keep talking to you in the span of a day.
If she’s a chatty Cathy, be one right back.
That’s why it’s so important to read these ladies, and to really figure out what they want out of the relationship that the two of you are starting. If she talks a lot, talk a lot bad. If she’s quieter, then be quieter right back.
All in all, trust your instincts. They’ll rarely fail you in your dating endeavors, and second guessing yourself is what will lead to a lot of failed hookups and dating ventures.